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183. The Hilarious Idea

Joakim had a hilarious idea and now it’s not funny anymore. How is this going to end? Water of the weak is Trip: CBD-infused, lemon basil, lightly sparkling.

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182. Lime.

This week, we’re cracking open an ice-cold can from Spindrift.

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181. America’s National Conversation about Race

Like always, we dissect sobriety over a tall glass of sparkling water. This week: Blood Orange by Soleil, Lemon Ginger Sparkling Water Beverage by Trader Joe’s and a metal bottle that says KŌPŪ.

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180. Joakim’s Ugly Face.

This is a retrospective of every time my face has felt ugly. Water of the week is two zero sugar flavors of Clearly Canadian: Tropical Splash and Citrus Medley.

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179. An Unexpected Error

I just paid that parking ticket. Finally. Water of the week is Grapefruit from Rambler.

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178. Cigarettes & TikTok

What is really happening here? Well, water of the week is De La Calle Tropical Ponche Tepache.

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177. Joakim is in a Good Mood

This episode is obviously a companion piece to last week’s episode, but stop me if you’ve heard this story before. I’m not kidding. If you’ve already heard this story, please interrupt and tell me. I am so very afraid of repeating myself and that fear is triggered here, because I simply can’t remember. Did we already cover all of this? Have we been here before? This place looks familiar, but I’m not sure. Perhaps, to get over my fear, I should tell the same story every week for a year, each time finding a new way to tell it, each time telling it a little bit more boring and a little bit more amazing. Water of the week is Blackberry Lemon-flavored Functional Seltzer with adaptogens and nootropics from Hiyo.

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176. Joakim is in a Bad Mood

But where does a bad mood come from? Water of the week is Alani Nu Kimade by Kim Kardashian.

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175. Maybe it’s pronounced Thighland.

Water of the week is three flavors of Singha: Yuzu Lemon, Red Lemon, and Lime Lemon.

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174. Blood, Fat & Sugar.

Joakim is having a very hard time and there’s nothing you can do about it. Water of the week is a bottle of Perrier from the strip club on Montecito St. Would it be rude to mention that the lady who sold me this water really needed a breath mint?

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173. It’s almost dry.

What happens in the mind of a small animal if you take away his home? What will the honeybee do if you separate him from the hive? What happens to the spider if you clean your house and destroy his cobweb? The duck without a pond? The ant without the anthill? Anyway, this week’s water is Sparkling Berries from Origin.

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172. The First Last Boring Episode

What kind of episode title is that? Does that mean anything at all? Today, we’re drinking Ginger Meyer Lemon from Aura Bora.

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171. The Festivities are Over

This week, we drink the sparkling stuff from Tahoe Artesian Water.

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170. Can a frail man build a strong house?

Everything is moving away from me and I don’t know what’s going on: Water of the week is Winter Sangria and Raspberry Lime from Trader Joe’s.

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169. The Lost Episodes

This is from years ago and there is nothing we can’t be honest about.

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167. A Bad Sign

I don’t know what it means that we keep forgetting to drink the water, but I know it’s not a good sign. What else are we forgetting?

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166. I’ll never forget what he said.

Water of the week is Watermelon Lime from Olipop.

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165. Practice Doing Nothing

An average human life is four thousand episodes of sparkling water, but that’s not true if we’re too distracted and forget to drink the water. In that case, it’s even shorter.

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164. Cream of Everything

This episode is a hardy potato soup with kale and chicken and bacon and ribeye. Water of the week is Lemon Lime from Olipop.

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163. Yourheim no longer…

Today was a bad day in America. I just cannot that Coral made me go back out there. Water of the week is Hoppy Refresher from Lagunitas. Sparkling Hop Water.

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162. Can’t Believe It!

Do you ever grab your longest wooden spoon and reach down into your big steel drum of butter–hoping to put some Can’t Believe It! on your early morning butter toast–only to find nothing. You are out of butter. Water of the week is Black Cherry Energizing Fruit Beverage from Petey’s Bing.

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161. The Prophet

Yeah, let’s talk about the prophet and why her hand is on my thigh. Water of the week is from Saratoga: Born in the foothills of the Adirondacks over 150 years ago, Saratoga Spring Water has been carefully crafted for a smooth taste, curating an experience of yada yada yada, yeah it just goes on forever.

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160. Should we do stuff?

The answer is No. We shouldn’t. Water of the week is two flavors from Bear’s Fruit: Mango Habanero and Strawberry Basil.

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159. Menstruation: Magic & Taboo

Such a chill topic that I am totally allowed to talk about. 100% appropriate. Water of the week is two gifts from Lilith: Blackberry Sage and Watermelon Mint from Bear’s Fruit.