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220. Messy Girl Aesthetic
In 2026, we are giving up on Clean Girl. No more Barbiecore and the quiet luxury of Supreme Court Casual. No more Hailey Bieber. This is Chrysaliscore. This is Tired Girl. Cigarettes are back. And with that, we are drinking Sparkling Watermelon Juice With Added Ingredients from Trader Joe’s.
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219. Thirty-Nine
For this episode, we review Pomelo by Sanzo. This is a 39 minute episode recorded on my 39th birthday. On the internet, everything is self-referential. Everything is a callback. I can barely post this episode, because the interface is blinking red. The computer is warning me that this episode title is not optimized. It’s just a series of numbers. Nothing good ever came from numbers. It does not contain enough dramatic words. No traction. No anger. No conflict. The computer is telling me that no one will listen. That idea is making calm.
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218. Brain no longer on fire.
In this episode, we review Cucumber Premium Soda from Somthing&Nothing.
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217. 🍑
This week, we’re reviewing White Peach & Yuzu from Moshi.
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216. The Cancellation Policy
I don’t know why I’m bleeping out the name. This has not nothing to do with anonymity. Perhaps to make it universal? Perhaps to erase and avoid platforming? Maybe I’m just embarrassed? What am I afraid of? This week, we’re drinking Cardamom & Black Tea from DRAM.
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215. Body Horror Blockbuster
This week, we’re reviewing Holy Basil & Lemon from DRAM.
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This week, we’re reviewing Meyer Lemon from Langer’s Organic.
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213. Play Joakim this tape.
Much sure that bright orange foam of the sony walkman headphones are correctly positioned against the ear. Make sure he’s comfortable. Make sure he has water. This week, we’re reviewing Strawberry Peach from La Croix.
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212. A little bit of Jesus.
In this episode, we drink Lightwave Portal to Peace by Kin Euphorics.
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In this episode, we review Liquid Death and therefore we have to be very goth and talk about our own mortality. Water of the week is Squeezed to Death.
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210. The Lamp Shade
This week, Joakim finally enters the Lamp Shade industry. This is a fast-growing $34B marketplace that needs major disruptors. Also, water of the week is Grapefruit from Nixie.
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209. The Spaghetti Bowl
This week, we’re drinking Trader Joe’s Organic Sparkling Elderberry + Pomegranate Apple Cider Vinegar Beverage.
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208. The Other Naomi
This week, we don’t have any water at the house.
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207. We Were Eight Years In Power
This week, we’re drinking Tropical Fruit by Waterloo. I say ‘we’, but there’s no one else here.
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In Texas, rocks are 11.5% bigger. Water of the week is Trader Joe’s Sparkling Black Tea with Peach Juice.
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205. Popcorn all over my body.
If there’s popcorn on the floor, then there’s popcorn on me. Water of the week is Frescos Naturales Maracuyá Passion Fruit Sparkling Water.
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204. Joakim gets rejected.
This week, we’re drinking Trader Joe’s Something Spritzy – A Sparkling Beverage with Grapefruit, Cranberry & Orange juice with Aromatic Bitter Flavors.
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203. Joakim gets arrested.
This week, we drink Trader Joe’s Something Spritzy – A Sparkling Beverage with Pineapple & Orange Juice, Ginger Juice, & Aromatic Bitters.
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202. BALL UP TOP
This is Joakim’s First Episode. Here, we’re drinking Lychee Fizzy from CHI FOREST.
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In this episode, we drink Grapefruit Lime Paloma from De La Calle Tepache.
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