In this episode, we talk about the raw meatball on the floor and how everything flows from this moment. Water of the week is Lemon Elderflower from Trader Joe’s, Strawberry Vanilla from Health-ade POP, and Mint Cucumber CBD Sparkling Water from APRCH.
I have no idea how to gracefully accept a gift. Water of the week is (1) Peach Marigold Basil from Petal, and (2) Pomelo Sage and (3) Yuzu Orange Blossom from Lolo Sparkling Hop water. Thanks for the water, Maddie.
This episode was so shameful that I forgot to review the three waters in the ice bucket: “For as long as we’ve had butt cheeks, we’ve been able to imagine what it would feel like to poop our pants.”
In the library of rare colors, they have a brown color called “mummy.” This pigment was made by grinding up Egyptian mummies and turning them into paint. Water of the week is naturally and artificially flavored strawberry Faygo Redpop!
Water of the week is Sparkling Clam. Yup, you read that right – sparkling clam! It may sound unusual, but it’s a beverage that has been gaining popularity in some parts of the world, and Joakim is here to give us his expert opinion on it. Okay, so what now? You think this episode description was also written by ChatGPT? You think it’s Artificial Intelligence all the way down? Reaching the lower reaches of the nothingness of the nothing? You think we’ve completely lost everything already? Anyway. Let’s talk about the big question: What’s wrong the the New York Times? Let’s see what the people have to say…
“basically that it’s all about how you can’t just appreciate that something happened but rather it’s only meaningful if it’s this social media style experience narrated by the reporter”
“the other thing is about just being really wordy and vague and using a ton of words when the thing could be just very simply stated, perhaps because this wordy approach is considered colloquial and attractive but also because it helps them to deliver an angle, a sort of ironic point of view”
“and they use verbs with no clear subject”
“or passive voice in a suspicious way”
We’re on the road again. Water is Berry Cream Probiotic Soda from Humm, Watermelon CBD Sparkling Water from Aprch, and Watermelon, Lime & Rosemary Probiotic Soda from Culture Pop Soda.
Why is Joakim always so condescending when he tries to explain how to make a cup of coffee? Water of the week is Mango-flavored HOPWTR and Confidence Mood-Boosting Refreshments in two flavors (Mango-Peach and Lemon-Lime).
We can’t be good at everything, people. Water of the week is not water: Coca Cola with Coffee (dark blend), Coca Cola with Coffee (vanilla), Nitro Pepsi Draft Cola.
This one’s on me. Water of the week is a tribute to Bill Hader and HBO’s ‘Barry,’ Blackberry Raspberry from Gold Emblem, Passionfruit Blueberry from Polar Seltzer, and Raspberry Rose from Voss.
I don’t have anything to say about this episode. Water of the week is Yuzu with Ginger from Sanzo, Yuzu Mandarin from Good&Gather, and Pineapple from Lei Back.
This is a vacation announcement. We are taking a week off. There is no water of the week, but Joakim still drinks a can of tangerine-flavored sparkling water. Not for the podcast, but because he’s thirsty.
With episodes like these, a lot of listeners always message me afterwards and ask if I’m okay, if I need someone to talk to, if they need to worry about me. And then I’m always incapable of connecting with real people in a real way, so I say something dismissive, like, “What are you talking about? The podcast is just fiction! You think I’m ACTUALLY sad?” The theme for this week is ‘shitty grocery store water’ so we’re doing Lemon from Crystal Geyser and Strawberry Lemonade from Market Pantry. There was a third water, but I was -LITERALLY- too distraught to even remember.
This week, Joakim tries to live in the moment. At least the water is sparkling: De La Calle! Tepache Cactus Prickly Pear, Sway Passionfruit, and S.Pellegrino Essenza Blood Orange Black Raspberry.
Ellsworth Kelly is 92 years old and in an interview he said, apropos nothing, “I’d like to live for another 15 years.” This sounds like a man who is not ready for the thing that is coming. Water of the week is a tropical flight of immunity-centered sparkling water: Acai Blueberry Immunity Support Sparkling Water from Sparkling Ice, Mango from SWAY+IMMUNITY, Pomelo CBD Sparkling Water from Lei Back.
This is a tale of too much crime and not enough punishment. Awful. Water of the week is an Asian herbal mix: Kola Champagne from GinsengUp!, Blood Orange Ginger with Sencha Green Tea from Brew Dr. Kombucha and Guava Sparkling CBD Water from LEI BACK.
Apparently, there is a Taiwanese company called “Ocean Bomb” that makes sparkling water branded for anime. Tristin bought me three Sailor Moon flavors: Lychee, Mango and Strawberry. Thanks Tristin.
This is not the greatest podcast in the world—this is just a tribute. Also, 2007 was the year of the pig, but I was looking at it wrong and immediately started doubting a whole chunk of my own life. Also, I was trying to think of the word “sine wave” and I called it a Sinus Curve (because that’s what it’s called in Swedish). So there you go. Water of the week is three flavors of GT’s Synergy Raw Kombucha: Golden Pineapple, Watermelon Wonder, and Tangerine Dream.
“Sinatra with a cold is Picasso without paint, Ferrari without fuel—only worse. For the common cold robs Sinatra of that uninsurable jewel, his voice, cutting into the core of his confidence, and it affects not only his own psyche but also seems to cause a kind of psychosomatic nasal drip within dozens of people who work for him, drink with him, love him, depend on him for their own welfare and stability. A Sinatra with a cold can, in a small way, send vibrations through the entertainment industry and beyond as surely as a President of the United States, suddenly sick, can shake the national economy.”
Also, water of the week is Daytrip CBD-infused Sparkling Water in three parts: Cherry, Blackberry and Grapefruit.
In this episode, we try to answer some great sparkling water-related questions (such as “Do we live in a civilized society?”) Water of the week is Chamomile Sparkling Hop Tea from HopLark, Tropical Citrus and Pomegranate Acai from TONIK Vitamin Enhanced Hemp Seltzer. Also, thanks Daniel for reminding me to post this episode, because I almost forgot.
Mistakes, large and small. Here’s some water for you: Caffeinated Pear Hibiscus Sparkling Water from Good & Gather, Sparkling Ice Super Fruit Prickly Pear Lemonade and Juicy Pear from Huzzah Probiotic Seltzer.
My podcast database is experiencing hundreds of brute force log-in attempts per day, but we shall fight on the landing grounds, and we shall fight on the fields and in the streets. Our passwords are strong and our plug-ins are up to date. And even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this podcast or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then Sahu will carry on the struggle until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old. And so today, we are drinking dragon fruit: Vitamin Enhanced Hemp Seltzer BERRY DRAGONFRUIT (sic) from Tonik (sic), Super Fruit Strawberry Dragonfruit (sic) from Sparkling Ice, and Dragon Fruit Lemonade from Polar Seltzer.
What is human tension? Can it be recorded? Can it be savored and put into a bottle and made to last for two hours and fifteen minutes? Can tension be a good thing? Can tension be a place of warmth and friendship? We don’t know, but water of the week is Blood Orange from HOP WTR, Artisanal Sparkling Blood Orange from Lorina, Blood Orange/Vanilla/Black Tea from Sound.
“Kanye is a producer and sampler of music. Last week he sampled and remixed a classic tune that has charted for over 3000 years – the lie that Jews are evil and conspire to control the world for their own gain.” Water of the week is a tropical trio: Ginger Lime from Poppi, Guava São Paulo from La Croix and Peace Please from Steaz (disqualified: not crispy).