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BLOG Field Research

“Take the bus into a low-income neighborhood and sell your blood for $50”

Field Research: Day 28

My first job in America was not really a job.

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

Cash Ruins Everything Around Me (C.R.E.A.M.)

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, banks provide a valuable service to their community.

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

The Penis Catalog

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, there are no penis catalogs that wives can flip through to pick out the perfect penis for their husband’s penis augmentation surgery.

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BLOG Field Research Policy

Impeachment and a Looming American Refugee Crisis

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

Tipping is Racist, Here’s Why

Field Research: Day 3

On my third day in America, I walk downstairs to get a haircut. The hair-dresser is a pleasant local woman in her early thirties.

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BLOG Field Research

It’s A Wrap—Swede Spills Beans On Big Burrito (part5)

Field Research: Day 188

I arrived at work and noticed that something was different. The sound of vegetable chopping was muted and anxious. The small-talk was subdued and peppered with dry throat-clearings. A sweaty mechanic was splayed out on the floor in front of me. He was tightening some bolts on the bottom of a sink.

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

American Sign Language

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BLOG Field Research

Please DO NOT open this Visa Envelope

Field Research: Day 1

“Shifu, today I am moving to America,” I say as the taxi climbs the on-ramp and careens toward the Beijing Capital Airport. At first, the taxi driver does not respond. Then he mumbles, “Good.”

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BLOG Field Research

Movie Review: Birth of a Nation (2016)

Field Research: Day 391

Today I went to the Varsity Theater in Seattle and paid $4.00 for a bag of peanut M&Ms and $10.50 for a ticket to Birth of a Nation.

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

In Conversation With Animals

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, we have adopted a dog. The staff at the Seattle Humane Society gave us a strange and awkward look when we explained that we needed a dog “because dog-ownership is an integral stepping stone toward understanding the American experience from the inside.”

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BLOG Field Research

What I learned after moving to America and getting a job at Chipotle (part4)

Field Research: Day 135

In March of 2016, I traveled to China for two weeks to officiate a friend’s wedding. Upon my return, the restaurant manager waved me over and greeted me. She was sitting with one of the middle-managers. She said, “We are getting all new furniture for the restaurant. Chairs and tables.”

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BLOG Field Research Policy

TrumpCare’s Unpalatability, Explained

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, President Trump and Speaker Ryan have unveiled their new healthcare proposal: The American Health Care Act (AHCA).

Categories
BLOG Field Research

What I learned after moving to America and getting a job at Chipotle (part3)

Field Research: Day 97

On February 8, 2016, all Chipotle restaurants across the country remained closed. Instead, all employees were requested to show up at nearby movie theaters to participate in a live-streaming event with upper management.

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

How Americans Understand «Truth»

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, civilians are routinely exposed to false and misleading information. Our America-based researchers are chronically exhausted from living and working in a Low-Trust Information Environment. But for the locals, this is normal.

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Big Data BLOG Field Research Policy

When the Emperor Loses Interest in Governing

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BLOG Field Research

What I Learned After Moving To America and Getting a Job at Chipotle (part2)

Field Research: Day 79

On my third day at Chipotle, we listened to loud rap music and I was—again—asked to dice a crate of red onions. After finishing, I brought my dirty knife to the dish pit. I scrubbed it clean and accidentally cut my finger.

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Big Data BLOG Field Research Policy

Everything You Need To Know About the Future of American Healthcare in One Simple Graph

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BLOG Field Research

The Real Reason Americans Are ’Anti-Establishment’

Field Research: Day 92

I am requested to mail out a small package so I walk four blocks south and find the post office. The building is a tasteful white stone structure with flush walls interrupted by tall steel windows. The top of the structure is adorned with subtle Greek Revival details and capped with a simple cornice that accommodates neat black letters:

United States Post Office Seattle Washington

University Station 98105
Categories
BLOG Field Research

What I Learned After Moving To America And Getting a Job at Chipotle (part1)

Field Research: Day 30

A month after my Permanent Change of Station to America, I visited a restaurant called Chipotle Mexican Grill. During the ordering process, I pointed to one of the optional condiments and asked, “Is that some sort of garlic sauce?”

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Big Data BLOG Field Research

Aggregate Strength of Spirit: USA, China, Europe

Dear Sweden,

Our Data Analytics team has compiled the data-set from the Trump Inaugurational Liquid Barium test. This is a visual representation of population-wide aggregate strength of spirit in three global civilizations (plotted along local temporal concept beginning with respective birth of modernity).

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Big Data BLOG Field Research Policy

President Bert Karlsson

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, the Donald-Elect will become president in exactly five minutes. Through a Chicago Cubs-induced upset, the Donald-Elect will be sworn in as president of the central government and general secretary of the federal military commission. The rise of the Donald-Elect is a helpful indicator—much like a cup of liquid barium given to a patient by a radiologist—that will reveal the exact location of American society in the lower tract of the corkscrew model of development.

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Big Data BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

Crazy Homeless People

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, all members of the citizenry yield to crazy homeless people. When confronted with a bleary-eyed old man who screams unintelligible swearwords through a greasy beard, all people follow the same three rules of American etiquette:

  • Don’t make eye contact.
  • Pretend like nothing.
  • Keep walking.
Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research Policy

Dark Heart of the Swede; Common Decency of the American

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, people are deeply generous. Let us ponder their generosity in the spheres of healthcare, defense and free trade.

Categories
BLOG Civilian Studies Field Research

The American Gaze

Dear Sweden,

Here in America, the people suffer under the scorching sun of the American gaze. They drink this water. They breathe this air. And inevitably, they become aware that their bodies are being viewed.

The psychological effect, Lacan argues, is that the subject loses a degree of autonomy upon realizing that he or she is a visible object.